Me and My Big Mouth

So I know that I have said this before, but you have to be careful what you write.  I tried to reply to an email yesterday to show support for 1 person, but I managed to so poorly say what I meant that I have really alienated someone else.  Remember that old adage "think before you speak"?  Well it certainly applies to email, texting, blogging, and any other format in which you communicate!  The big problem is that you can so quickly send out poor communication to so many people.  Well, I will be eating some crow for a long while over this, and I don't think my apologies will do much good.  I am truly sorry, sorry that I said what I did the way I did (I really didn't mean it the way it sounded but upon rereeading WOW!  what a horrid thing to say!), sorry that I didn't take more time to write it, and mostly sorry that I didn't "THINK BEFORE I SPOKE!"

So Much For Cool

Well, things started off no better around here today.  Around 2 AM I awoke to a strange, sustained honking.  I woke Peter Pan up and we tried to figure out what it was.  It was the neighbor's car horn.  It was just going and going.  We were up, Peter Pan went out on the porch.  It honked for 20 minutes straight- and not like when you hit the panic button on your key chain, it was just on!  After 20 minutes it just sort of fizzled out.  Peter Pan said that the neighbor's porch light came on, then went off and no one ever came outside.  I was awake so I decided to try and bore myself back to sleep with the TV.  "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" sort of put me back to sleep.  I went back upstairs and tried to get to sleep for real.

I woke up at 6:45, to realize that Belle's alarm had not gone off and she had overslept.  She needed to get up and out the door for her ACT's.  She was of course upset and there wasn't much I could do to help her out.  The biggest issue was the fact that she has lost her calculator (this will be the third $100 calculator lost by one of my children!) and we couldn't track another one down.  Moose has one, but it is still at VMI since he is taking a math course this session.  There was great drama, and I was admittedly poor in handling it. 

Belle finally got out the door, but realized that the truck needed gas so I followed her to the gas station to make sure she made it.  Keep in mind that I was in my pj's and my hair was standing on end.  In any case she finally made it off to the test. 

I then came home to find a missing envelope with test passed certificates for the skating club annual meeting.  I found them fairly quickly so that was a good thing.  I still have a ton to clean in this computer room (maybe I should be doing that instead of blogging?) but I did get a good bit sorted.  Peter Pan did the grocery store run so I just had to shower, dress and cut fruit for the meeting.   It went well and I was feeling better.  Belle called and she seemed in good spirits as well. 

Things are staying cool for the moment, but I know there will be more issues around the corner.  That is life at our house!  We should be a reality show, except it might be more depressing than funny.  I wonder what TLC would pay us to be "One Crazy Family"? 

Why This, Why Now

I am not in the mood for this at all!  Today has been a bit of a train wreck!  I got up and took Belle to the rink for morning ice and a lesson.  She did all right, she seems in a little less pain than yesterday, but still not up to her normal self.  Of course she won't tell her coach that she hurts.  I am proud of her strength, but I think coach should know when she can barely move.  When I tell it just seems like I am justifying a less than stellar performance.  Any way, she came off the ice and told me she needed cups for a party at school.  I just couldn't do Wal-Mart today so we paid the extra at Wawa.  Then I shared some info I had recently heard with her.  It sent her into a terrible state.  The actual information is unimportant, but she reacted extremely badly!  We had 5 minutes till I dropped her at school and she was a mess. 

"It's not fair!"  she lamented. 

"I agree, it isn't fair, but there isn't much we can do about it!"  I countered.  Too late, though, the damage was done.  I hate seeing my kids sad!  Fair or not fair, right or wrong I am furious that she has been dealt another blow!  In any case she got herself out of the car and off to school.

I decided to go home and get breakfast.  I had a bowl of cereal and watched some morning TV.  I have no idea what I watched because as soon as I finished the cereal I drifted off to sleep, waking when the bowl and spoon almost fell out of my hands.  I decided to go upstairs and take a quick nap.  Another big mistake.  All that did for me was make me groggy and cranky. 

Work was okay, but the classroom moving is stressful.  I had my students help out today- I gave them all one little box to carry down the hall (I mean little, they were rubbermaid shoe boxes).  In one trip I had a box of kangaroo counters, a box of foam shapes, and a whole pile of cut tissue paper hit the floor.  What a mess and so much for having them help with the move.  Now I am sort of stalled because the class I am moving into is a Kindergarten room and they have a huge "graduation" coming up on Monday.  The teacher, understandibly, doesn't want a mess of moving stuff.  I decided to try and do some cool stuff with my class, but mostly I ended up running from group to group and redirecting.  So much for cool stuff.

I got home and decided to chill with some TV, and just about the time I drifted back to nap land we got a HUGE thunderstorm.  Lightning may or may not have hit something in our neighborhood.  In came Belle, she pretended to want to talk, but she was worried about the storm (I sort of was too, it was huge!)  So no pre-dinner nap for me. 

Moose is home and has decided that he is on a low fat diet.  This doesn't really mean he eats less, just more expensive stuff now.  Meat was okay, broccoli was fine, no french fries please- too much saturated fat.  I wouldn't mind so much if he didn't eat so much.  Meat is expensive!  Of course this is a good thing in the long run so we will support it! 

So, now it is 8:30, Belle has gone to the movies with friends,  Peter Pan is trying to explain the finer points of hockey to Moose while they watch the Stanley Cup (see this is why hockey is better than soccer... ) and I think I am going to bed.  Tomorrow is a busy day, Belle has her ACT's and I have a Tidewater board meeting and annual meeting (which Belle says she won't attend due to the stress of taking ACT's!)  I am down to 5 work days till summer vacation so in reality, all is good!!!!  Still, today was just a little too much for me!  Can't things just be cool for 5 days?!

I Am Losing My Mind!

I am tired and cranky!  I get this way at the end of every school year.  There is too much to do, and not enough time to do it.  For some reason it seems like everyone needs something right now!  I just want to throw my hands up and scream "enough!"  Here are some reasons why:

*Yesterday I got stung by a bee.  I was just walking across the playground and it got into my shoe and stung me.  OUCH!  This is why we discourage the children from wearing flip flops to school.  Of course, ask me what I wore today, flip flops again.  I figured lightning couldn't strike twice.  It didn't, but a sweet little girl from one of the other third grade classes got stung, on her foot.  She was wearing flip flops.   The bees just know!

*I am stressed by end of year paperwork.  There is a lot of it and I think I have misplaced some important things.  I will need to find those tomorrow, or Friday.  I know they are somewhere safe....

*I am awful at choosing room mother gifts!  I go through this every year and it never gets easier.  I wish I could afford to get what they deserve, but I don't have that kind of money.   It is frustrating to want to show them how much I appreciate them and not ever be creative about it.  Arrgh!

*If one more child talks back....

*I feel like I am forgetting something really important, but I have no clue what that would be.

*I think I am starting to repeat myself.

*I think I am starting to repeat myself.

*Classroom move, enough said!

*Dog hair!  Why does the dog have to shed her winter coat during the last month of school.  Doesn't she realize that I have enough to do already without vacuuming every day!  Gross.

*Teenage attitude, again, enough said!

So if you happen to see me over the next few weeks and I am rambling incoherently, cut me some slack.  I really am losing my mind, one day at a time!

Sometimes It Is Painful

4:00 AM came very, very early today!  I had an incredibly hard time actually getting out of bed and making myself get ready.  I don't know why, I just couldn't motivate myself today.  Was it painful, sort of, but that isn't what got me thinking. 

It was very quiet at the rink today, some of the usual morning people were not there.  I had a lot of time to just sit and watch Belle skate with no distraction.  I noticed some things.  The main thing I noticed was that she was in pain.  She didn't tell me this, she didn't have too.  I could see it on her face and in her movement.  She hurt!

After she skated I asked what hurt and she said pretty much everything.  That is not a good way to start the day!  I guess I need to quit whining about getting up, after all, she did so without complaining, skated through the pain without complaining and wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't asked.  I am not sure proud is the correct descriptor here, but I was impressed with her dedication and fortitude! 

Fortunately she has an appointment with her rheumatologist today.  Peter Pan is taking her so I hope they convey how lousy she feels.  I am leaving him a list of questions and things to make sure the doctor knows.  Good luck to them all, this could be a difficult appointment. 

Just as an afterthougth I am almost done with 4:00 AM wake up calls.  I have 2 weeks of school left and then it will be SUMMER VACATION!  I can see the finish line from here!  The wierd thing is I don't think I will be at morning ice next year.  Belle will be driving herself and won't need me there.  I am not sure this is a finish line I want to cross.  I have been at that rink by 5:00 AM for the last 7 years, I don't know what I will do without it.  Of course even now I don't know most of the people who skate there, though mornings are still people I know (we are a fairly small crowd.)  I stopped by to watch Belle yesterday afternoon for a few minutes and I knew almost no one in the lobby.  It was really strange!  Anyway, I guess more bittersweet moments for the next couple of weeks. 

Not So Grown Up After All

I have been bothered by this for a few weeks.  My children believe they are grown up.  They are in a lot of ways.  I know they are much more grown up and capable than I was at their ages so I really am happy, but (there is always a but somewhere) I have decided they are not grown up in every way and here is how I know!

* At church today they both saw me eating a lifesaver and out came both hands.  They wanted some too.  Just like when they were little and I had some yummy looking treat.  Then they both gave me the empty wrappers to put in my pocket, just like when they were little.  I think you cannot be considered grown up until you consistently deal with your own trash!

* They do not hesitate to ask for money at any time.  "Mom, I'm going to the movies do you have some money?"  "Mom I am hungry do you have some money?"  "Mom I need __________ do you have some money:"  You can fill in the blank, it varies from occasion to occasion.  It might be a pencil, it might be a car, it might be a tattoo, one never knows.

*They still want me to schedule medical and dental appointments.  Now to Belle's defense they won't talk to her yet because she isn't 18, but Moose can and should do this for himself!  He won't call, he calls me at work and asks me to do it.  It makes more sense for him to do it himself because he knows his schedule, but no, he calls me.

* I think they still believe that Peter Pan and I are mind readers.  They neglect to tell us many things and then defend it with "I thought you knew that."  This leads to various problems with scheduling and finances.  It stems from that time in their lives when we were just really perceptive and they were too little to know that.  Now we are supposed to know that the parking pass money is due tomorrow, summer session starts on a certain day, the car needs more gas, the milk is gone or any other trivial thing that is occuring.  Usually it is easily dealt with (aside from some minor inconvenience, like going to Wal-Mart at 11 PM to gummy bears and tooth picks for school) but occasionally there are some significant problems when this happens.

Of course it is a bittersweet thing, growing up.  You want your child to grow up and move on to their own life, but at the same time you miss those sweet babies you brought home.  I couldn't be prouder of my children and yet I can see that they aren't quite grown up yet.  To be truthful, I am a little glad even though it sounds like I am not.  I will miss being a "Mommy" even though I will never stop being their Mom.

The Care and Feeding of a Football Player

Moose came home from summer school Friday and uttered words that I am completely sure I have never in my life utterred, "I'm going to have to eat a lot this weekend.  My weight was down when I weighed in."  I wasn't even sure how to respond to that.  In my life that is a really, really good thing.  When you are a defensive lineman, not so much. 

This led to a discussion about food.  I am of the opinion that the food should be healthy and protein should be the main focus at this point.  Moose just wants a lot of food.  He says he doesn't get enough at school, he can't get to the galley for food because it doesn't fit his schedule.  Now this makes me a litttle bit crazy, the food in the galley has already been PAID FOR!  I don't think at this point in our financial life we need to ignore already purchased food.  Moose said he would try harder.  Then I asked if he needed more protein powder for after workouts.  His answer floored me,  "Nah, I have plenty.  I just don't have my cup."

"What, why don't you have a cup?"  I foolishly asked.

"I brought it home to get washed last weekend and no one washed it."

He had to be kidding, right?!  Nope, he was serious.  I explained that the cup was washed and with the clean dishes if he had taken the time to look he would have found it.  Of course, if it is that important he could wash and pack it HIMSELF  (Moose, I know you read this so maybe that is a little  HINT for future trips home!)  In any case it was all a bit frustrating to find that more already purchased nutrition was not being utilized! 

When he goes back today I am sending some snacks with him.  I hope these help some.  I am going to make sure he has the cup with him.  I am feeding him a great meal before he leaves (actually Peter Pan will be the cook for this one, Moose wanted Dad's burgers!)  Then I just have to hope he continues to eat and make good  nutrition decisions for some of it.  No one ever told me what the grocery bill for a high school and college football player would be like- it might have led me to put him in a different sport all together- like bowling or badminton, haha.  I understand why colleges charge so much admission to their football games- they have to feed the team!