Run Away

Today we were up in Maryland for yet another tryout for Belle.  We got there a little early because I wasn't sure exactly how long the drive would be from our house.  While she was warming up I got to observe a group of Learn to Skate parents.  The first thing I saw was an irate mother who was furious that her tot wasn't getting any personal attention from the instructor.  She wanted the manager and wanted to sign up for private lessons.  I didn't catch all the conversation, but I could tell she was mad.  Then I watched as the children came off the ice.  There were varying degrees of parent response.  Some were so enthusiastic, "Did you enjoy that?  You did such a good job going around the cones!"  Others just took skates off and gathered belongings and left.  It was interesting, though, to look back at where I come from.

When your child is little and in Learn to Skate you see a future of Olympic potential in front of you.  You are sure your child is the next skating prodigy and you just know that this will be there ticket to the front of the Wheaties box.  Of course I know not every parent feels that way, but there are lots of us that did or do.  This is before your child actually heads out into the real world of U.S Figure Skating competition.

I will never forget Belle's first U.S. Figure Skating competition.  It was a local competition and fairly small.  It was also designed as an entry level competiton, at that time it was No Test (meaning skaters hadn't completed an entire USFSA test) through Intermediate.  Belle was skating at the No Test level.  I can't remember if she had done any Moves in the Field tests yet, but she was no where near ready to do any Freeskating tests.  In case you are not familiar here is a link to the current "structure" of US Figure Skating  http://www.usfigureskating.org/content/U.S.%20Figure%20Skating%20Pipeline.pdf  It is actually a lot more complex now than when we started.  Anyway, Belle was ready to go.  She had her program, her dress, her music, and we were ready to take on the world.  People at our rink warned us it would be a huge difference from the recreational competitions we had done.  I don't think we really listened.  Belle placed to second to last in her free skating group.  She was devastated. 

This was the first experience we had with girls who were seriously training.  Some of these girls have gone on to be competitive at the National level.  They had obviously spent a lot more than we had on training, dresses, music, boots, blades, even hair accessories.  These little six year olds were in custom designed dresses with thousands of crystals on them.  Belle was wearing off the sale rack with almost no crystals.  It was an eye opener!

Still I didn't quite get it.  I thought it was all about effort and hard work.  That Belle did.  She worked hard.  From 4th grade on she got up at 4:30 in the morning to go skate before school.  She went back after school.  She practiced in the yard.  She gave up play time on the weekends to go to the rink.  We switched coaches, and then switched again.  Somehow I was still missing the key. 

These skaters are the perfect combination of effort, talent, and money.  Effort we have plenty of.  Talent, maybe not quite as much, but Belle is no slouch in that department.  What do we lack then?  Money.  I can't compete with skaters who spend $40,000 or more a year on their skating.  We will never be in that league. 

So back to the hopeful Learn to Skate parents I witnessed today.  Half my heart says run, run fast and far now!  But there is that part that still sees the potential Olympian in Belle.  I still share those hopes and dreams she has for herself.  I waffle a lot, there are many moments when I wish we had never put her feet in skates, but then I see the joy she has on the ice, the beauty she conveys, the grace.  Keep on hoping Learn to Skate parents, help your children follow their dreams as far as they can go.  Love them, support them, pick them up and brush them off when they fall.  Enjoy the journey, it will end all to soon.