Build a Bridge and Get Over It!

I have a tendency to hold on to old hurts and recycle them at random times.  This is not a good thing!  It really does nothing productive, and it hurts everyone around me and mostly me!  It is damaging to relationships because I can't see past my hurt/frustration to deal with what is at hand.  I pull random hurt out add bad times and throw it back into the middle of life (i.e. arguments) and justify current behavior with it.

But it isn't justified.  Bad behavior is bad behavior, and yes I sometimes behave badly (I am an insane sports mom after all!)  So where does this leave me? 

I know what I need to do, build a bridge and get over it!  It is just that so often something will remind me of perceived wrong doing by another and I will get riled up once again.  I am still angry and bewildered by the behavior of a football coach in 2003.  Now really what relevance does this have anymore?  Moose is successful at what he does.  He doesn't care!  Why do I?  Now to be honest I don't think of this very often, but sometimes I will be reminded of what that coach did and I just get furious all over again!  In the end this only hurts me!  I bet money that coach doesn't even remember me, although he does remember Moose, Peter Pan ran into him this Spring and he knew Moose was at VMI! 

Of course that is just 1 example.  I do it with other situations as well.  Upon reflection I tend to hold on the longest when it involves Belle or Moose.  So I guess part of it is just the pain any mother feels when her child hurts!  Still, they are tired of me doing it.  My refusal to let go means that they have to also keep reliving whatever the situation was that hurt them.  Both of them have told me to stop.  I really hate it when my kids are smarter than me!

So my goal is to actually build that bridge, go to the top of it, throw all this crap over the edge, and get over it!!!  Wish me luck, this will be hard.

And the drama goes on...

So US Figure Skating is airing a one time theater showing of Rise (http://www.rise1961.com/)  telling the story of the 1961 US team that was killed in a plane crash on their way to the world championships.  It is a big event in the skating world.  Since our competition is this weekend and the movie is Thursday a few of our judges are arriving in time to go see it here.  I have made arrangements to take one to the theater with my daughter and I Thursday night.  In my excitement about going to see it I have asked a couple of other friends to go as well including... the ex-partner's mom.  Now, I am still friends with her.  We have been friends for a long time and have been through a lot.  I get why they made the decisions that they did, I probably would have done the same thing in their position.  I want to still be friends.  It isn't as easy for my daughter.  It is painful, which I didn't stop to think about.  Add another item to the list of sports mom screw ups!  In any case I think we have worked it out by adding one of her skating friends to the mix so she has someone her own age to talk with and hang out with.  Besides, as she informed me when we were in Greensboro for the US Skating Championships a couple of weekends ago, "No offense mom, but it is sort of boring to hang out with you all day."  That sort of brings me back to yesterday's post about letting go, but it still isn't easy.  This is why I have dogs I guess.  They always want and need you!