Ridiculous Anxiety

Last week I was eating Special K and my tooth broke.  Just like that, on soggy Special K.  So Monday I had to go to the dentist.  This isn't something that I love, in fact I really avoid it if possible (probably part of the problem, but that's another story.)  After a couple of bad experiences (my issues, not bad dentists) I found one that offered sedation, there's the ticket.   Just knock me out and it will be fine.  You think I am kidding, but I am serious.  I have this feeling the whole time they are working that I am going to choke.  I have never heard of anyone choking to death on their own saliva in the dentist's chair, but I don't want to be the first. 

Well, I got to the appointment and it turned out that the break was caused by a cavity next to a filling (back to the avoiding dentists causing issues).  All I needed was a filling, but it was in the very back, bottom molar and it was going to be a pretty extensive filling.  So I asked for laughing gas.  They accomodated.  I thought it was working, but as soon as he started drilling I felt like I was suffocating.  I had a little spaz.  How embarassing was that.  My mind kept saying, you are okay.  Except another part kept saying, you are dying and you can't breath.  Kind of like in Animal House when he has the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other.  The rational part of my brain couldn't win.  The dentist gently suggested more gas, and it worked.  I survived and I didn't bite or hit him. 

How embarassing was that though.  It made me think about anxiety.  I knew my fear was in my head, I tried to think good thoughts.  I just couldn't get over it. It was a losing battle and this time the "devil" of anxiety won.  The funny part is I didn't have this anxiety until a couple of years ago when I had a root canal.  Something about it set me off and now the thoughts are in my head and I just can't be rid of them.   Peter Pan made major fun of me afterward.  He said, "You really had to have laughing gas for that?"  Yes I did.  By the time I got home my head hurt, my neck hurt and my mouth hurt.  It was the tension.  I was still sort of groggy from the gas, and all I wanted to do was sleep. 

I have recovered and the tooth seems to be fine.  My jaw is a little sore today, the dentist said it would be sore for a couple of days.  I have to go back for a cleaning in a couple of weeks.  I know there are more issues to be found.  Guess what I'll be doing on my summer vacation...