Advice for Middle School Parents

I have only a short time to write this morning.  I didn't get much sleep last night so as a result I overslept this morning.  I am trying to jumpstart with some coffee but so far no luck.  The root of this poor sleep, having a senior in the house!  Looming scholarship deadlines, essays, college applications, senior trips, college visits...  The list goes on and on and on.  I spent the evening (well, after a wonderful time with my awesome Waters Edge Community Group!) helping Belle finish some scholarship essays.  This was not a wonderful, bonding moment.  It was stressful and painful for us both.  We approach writing very differently and this leads to many confrontations.  By the final essay and at almost 10:00 PM we were both in the just write anything mode.  That isn't really where you need or want to be.  So, my friends with middle schoolers, just start now!

Sofa Saga

I love my new furniture.  It is soft and comfortable and it doesn't smell like a dog, yet.  In an effort to keep this furniture nicer we are trying to keep the dogs off of it.  Haha, good joke said the dogs.  They don't seem to get this.  We have procured a lovely dog bed  for them, and they do like it.  They just like the sofa better.  Fenway seems to be processing it all a little quicker, or maybe she is just a lot more chicken than Bella.  She has had a few attempts to get on the sofa.  Bella, has been incredibly persisitent.  She will get on the sofa when we leave the room, if she thinks we are leaving the room and even if we are on it.  Saturday I was watching TV and all the sudden she was on my lap.  I don't even know where she came from.  Last night she snuck up and onto it at least 5 times.  We take her off, we yell, we fuss, we scream.  She looks puzzled, waits till we turn around and you guessed it, jumps right back up.  I don't know if she is dumb or just really persistent but it is annoying.  When the kids were little they loved to watch "Courage the Cowardly Dog", remember the old man, "Stupid dog!"  That is how I feel.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qrfHm4PA-bg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Painting....

I am having some coffee before I go back upstairs and get back to paiting Moose's room.  We have decided to let Belle move into Moose's old room (it is bigger, thus more desirable).  moose was agreeable because he was bribed promised a new TV if he switched rooms.  Actually we are turning his room into a "man cave" of sorts for both he and Peter Pan.  Moose is only here 2 months a year or so anyway.  The biggest issue was that Belle's old room was pink.  Not soft pink, pepto bismol pink.  This picture doesn't do it justice but you can sort of tell.  The wall color was bright.  At night if you were outside it glowed.

So the biggest thing that had to happen was a paint job.  Pink is not a color for any self respecting  man cave.  Moose at first said he wanted 4 colors (are you kidding me?)   He wanted a Patriots blue wall, Celtics green, Red Sox red and Bruins yellow.   Now I am adventurous with paint.  Belle's new room has 3 purple walls and one navy blue wall.  But 4 colors in a room?  I don't think so.  Not to mention that this is the smallest room (well except the bathrooms) in our house.  I can't even imagine how hideous it would be.  I finally convinced him that he wanted a light wall color and then he could add pictures, art, etc.  So we are going with a light blue (almost the same as his last room color.)

Now any of you have painted know what is going on.  Light blue over almost neon pink...  I have already used almost a gallon on the first 2 walls.  Before you ask, we got the Behr paint and primer in one.  No I didn't put primer on, it is in the paint and it is supposed to be 1 coat coverage!  It's not!  To be fair I don't think it had a chance.  The pink was just too bright. 

So, I am going to finish my coffee and start in again.  I did the easy walls last night, they didn't have windows or doors that needed much cutting in.  Belle and Moose wanted to help but I couldn't take the help.  Again to be fair, it wasn't that they were not painting well.  The room is small.  Moose only can use 1 arm (he is still recovering from his surgery.)  He is huge anyway.  The three of us in a really small space with paint just sort of overwhelmed me.  Then Peter Pan decided to give us all advice from the door and that was when I lost it!  I would just rather do it alone.  Well, I would like someone to refill my brush when I am cutting in at the ceiling so I don't have to climb up and down...

Dear Coach...

So take this for what it is, venting!  I was in the shower this morning and all these thoughts started running through my head (this is the issue with having a day off, I think way too much!)  I was really remembering a Thanksgiving vacation we took many years ago after Hurricane Isabel and the resulting sports fiasco.  I am still not over it, and it sort set me off this morning.  In any case, I am writing a letter to a composite of several coaches my kids have had throughout their athletic careers, no one coach, and aside from that vacation incident there really isn't one incident.  And , if you think it is just about my children, I have seen this same thing with so many other children.  Take it with a grain of salt.  I am recovering from Thanksgiving food overdose and midnight madness at the outlet mall. 

Dear Coach,
     While everyone else is "thankful" and "joyful" right now I am not.  I don't appreciate your attitude and consitent overlooking of my child and many others on your team.  I realize my athlete isn't the most talented on the field, but any top athlete will tell you that it isn't all about talent.  My athlete has a heart the size of Texas and more passion for sport than you will ever see.  Sadly, you have never and will never see that part of my child.  You are too busy marking statistics in a notebook to see the intangible greatness of your team.  It isn't always the best player who contributes the most.  Watch for a few minutes and see who is cheering the team on and leading the team.  Who is pushing the whole team to their best.  Who is spending their summer working and training to be ready for the fall season.  Take a few minutes and find out what each player really wants from their pursuit and your eyes will be opened.  You look at my athlete and see no potential.  How sad for you.  You have missed an opportunity to foster and create and push someone further than even they knew they could go.  Maybe it never was about being the best athlete, the star of the team.  Maybe it was just about bettering themselves. 
                                                                                             Sincerely,
          
                                                                                              Insane Sports Mom

Now, before it seems like I have never liked a coach or never seen any positives the majority of coaches that have worked with my kids have been amazing, wonderrul people who have seen the potential and the real value of my children.  To those coaches the following:

Dear Coach,
     Thank you for continuing to believe in my child and to help him/her achieve what not even he/she believed possible.  Thank you for supporting him/her on and off the field and for seeing the amazing person growing in front of you both athletically and personally.  Thank you for making my child feel good about working hard even when he/she isn't the star of team.  Thank you for seeing the little things that make my child a special and wonderful person and for seeing his/her gifts even if they aren't always sports related.  You will never know how much you have contributed to my child.
                                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                                ISM                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

I'm Blessed

On this day of Thanksgiving I wanted to take a moment and be thankful myself.  I so often joke about my family and the situations we find ourselves in or I complain about things, but today I wanted everyone to know that I do truly appreciate my life.  I have so many things to be thankful for and there are so many people who are not as blessed as I am.  Thank you God for the bountiful blessings you have given me.   May I truly appreciate them each and every day.   Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Senior Cross Country Banquet

Monday night we went to Belle's last country banquet.  It was certainly a bittersweet experience in so many ways.  You already know that this wasn't the senior season she hoped for personally, but the team overall had a fantastic season winning their district, region and placing 5th in the state.  While Belle wasn't one of the top runners she certainly contributed in her own way.  She was a superb teammate and always supported her team.  She pushed her faster teammates to do there best all the time and encouraged her slower teammates as well.  While I may be an insane sports mom, I do realize that high school sports is about much, much more than athletics.  It is about being part of something bigger than yourself and learning how to balance school and sport.  It is about belonging in a way that only being a part of a school group or team allows you to belong.  Most of all it is about achieving your personal best.

 So as Belle moves on I reflect on cross country and hope she learned life lessons from it.  We do have a couple more milestones this senior year, but the clock is ticking and soon my last bird will fly away.  I will have to cultivate new obsessions since there will be no daily sports fix here at home.  I am working on my application for grad. school.  At least it will keep me busy.  Life moves on.

We Really Tried

Today we were blessed with new living room furniture.  It has been a while coming and we really needed it (more on that in a minute) so Peter Pan and I were extremely excited.  Our old sofa/sectional was too big for our room.  It always had been and we should have returned it as soon as we bought it, however we don't really think through problems that way.   In any case it was too big and now it has become sort of stinky and stained.  I could get it clean if I really scrubbed it, but to be honest it was sort of an eyesore.  It also wasn't really comfortable.  Even the recliner was a bit bumpy.  I think the killer moment was when poor Fenway had her urinary tract infection and, you guessed it, peed all over it.  I never really could get it back to normal after that.  Since we are getting new floors (another story and thank you broken dishwasher!) we decided it was time to get rid of our old furniture.

Peter Pan called the Salvation Army and made an appointment for them to come and get the old sofa.  I couldn't wait to get home from school to see my empty room, ready for new furniture.  I arrived home, having spent my day on the coldest and wettest field trip in the history of Kindergarten, to see Belle sitting on our old sofa reading.  "What are you doing?' I exclaimed.  "Reading" she answered back sarcastically not realizing that the sofa was supposed to be gone.  "I know that, but why are you on the sofa?"  Now she was totally confused and answered with something about where else should she sit.  Through this whole conversation there was no sign of Peter Pnn.  I tried (sort of lamely) to explain to Belle that I was trying to figure out the sofa situation and set off in search of Peter Pan.

He was in bed (which was where I wanted to be, I was freezing!)  "I tripped on your shoe when I was bringing the laundry up.  I hurt my back."  So it was my fault, whatever, I asked about the sofa.  "Oh, yeah, the Salvation Army came and they won't take it."  Huh?  Won't take a free sofa.  Nope, it had too many stains.  In other words my sofa was too disgusting for even the Salvation Army to take it.  As we were talking the furniture store called to confirm our delivery.  "No, no, no.  You can't bring it tomorrow.  Yes, I know we scheduled it, but we have had an emergency.  We'll reschedule," was my sort of paniced response.  Peter Pan asked why I said we had an emergency and I told him it  was the first thing that popped into my head and I just sort of blurted it out.  So we were back to square one.

Yesterday he called ReStore and set up a pick up for our old sofa.  We were a little anxious.  Would they take it?   Would it be too dirty?  This morning they called and unfortunately there were no drivers available.  They wanted to know if we could bring it down.  Well sure, but will you take it.  Turns out that NO they don't want our yucky sofa either.  So Peter Pan and I had to make 2 trips to the dump to get rid of the sofa.  This really bothered me because with a little TLC it could have been usable. 

It turns out we were not the only sofa pitchers today.  There were several people at the dump discarding sofas and some of them looked pretty good (the sofas I mean).  I was really bothered now.  Americans waste a lot of stuff.  It is a shame.  I just want to state for the record that we really did try to find a new home for our old sofa.  Not hard enough I guess.

The best part of the story:  while we were driving to the dump the second time Peter Pan says (and I am not making this up), "This is sort of fun, like we are on a date!"  Are you kidding me?  The dump?  No, it isn't really sort of fun.  No, this in no way qualifies as a date!   Peter Pan needs some retraining!  In any case, our new sofa, love seat and chair arrived this afternoon and although we had to do some rearranging our living room looks great.  Now if we can just keep the dogs off of them.....

This is Not What I Planned On

So it is November and I am not having the Fall I had planned.  I was anticipating going to a lot of VMI games, home and away, watching Grafton Cross Country, and going to regionals with Belle.  None of that has happened.  Injuries have stolen it away from Belle and Moose.  So here I sit on November 18 thinking about would/could or even should have been.  It is a little bit depressing.

Moose has definitely had it the worst.  He has just finished having surgery on his preseason injury.  Peter Pan and I went to Roanoke to take care of him and bring him home for a couple days of recovery and pampering.  He tore his sub-scapularis tendon and had to have it repaired.  The doctor said it looked "shredded" but he also felt like the repair went well.  He had to go back to VMI pretty quickly and I hated to let him go.  I just wanted him home where I could take care of him and make sure he was comfortable (comfort and VMI really don't fit together.)  He has made the best of it.  While he can't do much with his arm, he is really working his legs and when I talked to him last night he was in an ice bath because his leg workout was so intense.  He is trying to actually lose some weight and has been pretty successful at that as well.   Making up class work has been harder and he had to drop a class because of the surgery.  Hopefully the rest will be okay, but we will see.

Belle finally got to run the last 2 district races of the season, but of course she wasn't really in shape.  She didn't have great times and wasn't even in her own teams top 10.  That wasn't how she wanted to finish her senior year.  And of course she had decided not to even attempt skating at regionals.  She hadn't jumped for most of the summer so she know that she wouldn't be ready.  Financially I was glad, the regionals trip is always really expensive, but it just wasn't what I planned for her last fall at home.  I am hopeful that she will have a better track season than ever this year, having not overtrained through the fall, but she is fighting bronchitis and it just isn't going away so I am hoping that indoor track won't be off to a rotten start as well.  She and I are planning a quick trip to Boston to look at some schools.  The stress of planning for next year is difficult for her.  She has a lot of options and doesn't want to make the wrong choice.   I don't think there is a "wrong" choice, but I have a lot of hind sight  (I have a lot of "hind" in general.) 

So onward we go, and I guess hope springs eternal because I am already planning for next fall when I will be juggling VMI football and whatever Belle chooses.  Life keeps moving forward, regardless of setbacks so you just travel with it.  Now if I could get my house together before the holidays I would be in business, but that is a whole different blog!